OTHER
Need a listener
“I just needed to talk to somebody.” That was said to me
last night in a hotel lounge where I was listening to a professional
man who has consulted me from time to time during a difficult year. In
the past I have given him advice. But last night he had come to some
big decisions after some very hard weeks and just needed to get it all
off his chest. A very normal human need.
In this complex society many people are moving around and
relationships are not as strong as they used to be. As a result it is
not always easy to find someone who can be there to listen when you
need it. And so I find myself called upon to fill in this gap, in a
flexible and friendly way. One youngish man lost his father. He no
longer had someone with whom to have an occasional man-to-man chat
about life with its successes and troubles. He finds it pleasant (and
so do I) to meet up about once a month to fill just that need. I was
delighted to go to his wedding. Another person may only think of me
when a particular problem comes up. Another, elderly, woman I am
thinking about never met me, but would have a chat on the phone
whenever a family issue came up.
In these many ways people can find that there is a small aspect of
life where it is good to feel that there is someone who can be called
up when necessary. There is a certain bonus in it being an
informal-professional relationship: there is no feeling of imposing on
someone. We often feel reluctant to impose too much on friends or
family. There need be no such feelings with me. I very much appreciate
being able to make a living out of something that I also get pleasure
from.
